Let me take you forward in time to the very moment in your life when your precious baby is about to make their grand entrance, the room is set, you're feeling ready and prepared to bring them into the world and your birthing partner is there...encouraging you through with positive words and gentle supportive touch. At no point in this time are you envisioning them phone in hand concentrating on snapping away worrying where the light is looking beautiful or focused on best angles, and rightly so!
No judgement from me if you're considering placing that responsibility to your birth partner, I was that woman, I had expressed how much I wanted a few photographs to look back on during my labour and early moments, but when the time came all I wanted was my support to be just that, a support. I wanted a free hand to hold and eye contact that wasn't through a screen. So that's what I got. The connection was incredible, the intense closeness to those sharing this time with me was unlike any other moment in my life... just beautiful.
However... and here's the heartbreak... I was left with only two images to treasure and they were (although still very precious) an afterthought. I had a 30 hour labour with my first born, and I have two photographs. I have zero images of my lovely support in the moment, zero of the room we were in, zero of my strength or journey to becoming a mother.
With the wonderful capabilities of phone cameras nowadays, of course if you are consciously trying to document it can be done, and the best camera is of course one you have with you, however what isn't considered is how that camera works in low lighting situations. I have never attended a birth that had all the lights on yet, and who could chance their baby coming during the day? The majority are late night labours, your birth partner may also be tired and energy is not best spent worrying where the phone charger is trust me! The difference with a professional camera and knowing how to subtly light and focus on a subject is crucial to capture this time cannot be underestimated.
I have spoken with many, many mothers. New mothers to mothers on their fifth child, mothers who have had a surrogate and same sex couples, all of whom express that their biggest regret is not having their birth documented by a professional. So I ask why? Why in today's society are we not capturing this event like we do a wedding or first birthday? And I have come to the conclusion that the answer is fear and judgement.
We all want it, but we are scared. Maybe frightened of having someone else with us, we are scared of the critical comments of our peers or unflattering angles that we might be setting ourselves up for. Totally understandable, but also totally false beliefs. So let's break these down a little.
1: Having someone who you have CHOSEN to spend this moment with you, someone you have connected with during your pregnancy, someone who can be an extra support and grab you and your partner a drink is never scary. It's about finding the right photographer for you.
2: Critical comments or judgement would never come from those who love you, and the chances are that these people would be so proud to share your journey with you afterwards and see your strength, see your determination. It is empowering to see other women going through this, our bodies are wonderful.
3: A professional photographer knows what you want, they talk to you, they ask what you want captured. They are discreet and they can filter through in post process the photographs that show love, connections, power and those that maybe you wouldn't thank them for that don't fit this bill. Which brings me back to choosing the experience of a photographer rather than leaving it to chance with your birth partner.
Speaking with pregnant ladies, one thing I hear a lot is... is it weird that I want this photographed?
NO. No it is not weird for wanting a crucial milestone in your life on camera. Birth photography (and film) is only considered strange by those who consider birth to be something other than beautiful. Birth is the epicentre of a woman's strength, it is the most natural process on the planet and it is a truly emotional moment to set eyes on your baby for the very first time. I would ask... why not?
SIDENOTE: I am writing this during the Covid-19 pandemic and hospitals in Hampshire & across the UK currently do not allow a second birth partner, however this is easing and I am hoping soon to be allowed to join you again when it is safe to do so. For the couples who are still hoping to capture something, I would like to help. I am offering a service that will allow you to use my professional equipment during your time in hospital, with a guide book and some tips for your partner. I can still meet with you at home in your early labour, I can still capture your first days at home. You can still have precious memories to look back at. It is just about us adapting in this time. I will still process your images in my artistic style and help with stunning products for you so your story can still be told in a professional way. Please get in touch!
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